Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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