In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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