ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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