let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
