Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
