Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
