the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
