Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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