is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
