in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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