Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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