ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
