if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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