You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
