I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
