they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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