Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
