Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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