ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
