I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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