Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We're too hungover to prance.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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