Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
