Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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