is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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