Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
