YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
