I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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