I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
