i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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