i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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