He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
