Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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