I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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