So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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