Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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