no, he came in my armpit
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
