I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
