So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
