Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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