that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
