Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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