I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
