Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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