Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You can't special order awesome
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
