so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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