I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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