I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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