I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
