Porn is love you can see.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
