I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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