their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
