My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
